How Forecasters Really Guess The Weather (Humor)

For some you non-weather people (most who read this blog actually), this joke may be a little "inside baseball", so I apologize in advance. But I know at least a few of my facebook friends are fellow Air Force weather forecasters, and might appreciate this. Then again, I bet most of you actually suspect that this is how we come up with our weather guesses anyway ...

The following is taken from the picture above:

Forecasting Dust 101

by: SSgt Kevin "KJ" Johnson

  1. Acquire one regulation dart board

  2. Write the numbers 0, 1/4, 1/2, 3/4, 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 on sticky note sheets

  3. Place above mentioned sticky note sheets on dart board

  4. Place blindfold over eyes

  5. Place forehead on end of baseball bat and spin around in circles for 5 minutes

  6. Puke

  7. Run as fast as you can into a wall

  8. Get up and realize you are a total idiot

  9. Pick up 3 darts and throw them (at the same time) at the dart board

  10. Lowest value is the visibility in miles. If you fail to hit anywhere on the dart board, repeat steps 4-9

Exception: These rules do not apply if your name is Dave Smith (our mid-shift forecaster), Chuck Norris, and/or Jack Bauer. If your name is mentioned above, you have the right to tell the dust to stop F#!@?ng with our flights. ;-)

Hope you liked it.

p.s. I didn't do a blog post yesterday, but the picture I took was just a cheesy sunset so there wasn't much to write about


  1. I couldn't help but notice the weather forcast board had a picture of the Big Island on it. I'm currently in Hilo. Our forcasters occasionally predict "mild haziness" VOG-fog with sulfur dioxide, I think it is, from the volcano. We've observed "mild haziness" equates to a bad L.A. smog alert day. Quarter mile visiability, stings your eyes and constricts your lungs. Heaven help us if we get an actual VOG alert. Did you have any experience with bad VOG (redundant) when you were over here?

  2. Hi Mike,

    lol, I think the picture was supposed to be of Iraq ... but now that you mention it, it does sort of look like the big Island too. :-)

    I lived on Oahu my whole time in Hawaii. The VOG blew over a few times, but for most part, it was just something I heard about on the news.


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