Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Power of Rewarding Yourself

Goal Setting is Easy

photo credit: Kamal H.

... it's achieving goals where many of us tend to run into problems.

Why do you suppose that is?

Do we set unrealistic goals? Do we not try hard enough? Maybe we're not always totally honest about what we really want? These are all possible roadblocks.

But, I think the #1 Reason that People Don't Achieve Their Goals is ...

We spend way too much time Beating Ourselves Up.

You know how it is. You get to the end of the day, and look back at your "to do" list, and our natural instinct is to immediately start looking for all the ways that we were either not good enough, or just plain not enough.

If you're anything like me, on any given day, these "nots" are all to easy too find.

But, is all this Negative Focus doing us any Good?

If we go to bed every night, Knowing that we haven't even achieved All of our short-term goals for the day; over time, what do you suppose that's going to do to our motivation, when it comes to setting and working towards our long-term goals?

"What's the use? I might as well just give up now."

And that's how it starts. We've planted the seed that will eventually cause us to fall short of our dreams and ambitions. And here's the reason why ...

We tend to Get exactly What we Expect


... and our short-term experience tends to be the primary driver of our long term expectations. For all intents and purposes, we're teaching ourselves to Expect Failure.

But, what if we tried something different?

What if, every night, instead of looking for all the things we Didn't Do; we instead make a list a of all the Great things (no matter how small or seemingly insignificant) that we DID accomplish that day?

And then, Reward and Praise ourselves for our Achievements.

Do you think it might make a little bit of a difference? Is it possible we might be teaching ourselves to view our long-term goals through a different, (more productive) prism?

:-)

It's no accident that when I make an entry to my Online Dream Board, before I even think about listing my Goals or Intentions, I first write a little about ...

Things that I'm Thankful For


Things that I Like About Myself


And where do you suppose I come up with these "good" things?

You guessed it ... my "reward list" from the night before.

I hope you found this helpful.

Keep havin FuN!
Todd

9 comments:

  1. Great post Todd! I learned much about not beating myself up this year and have since let go of much negativity. We do have to love ourselves - many people do not understand how to do that. Thanks so much :smile:

    Bobby Revell's last blog post..Iraq Blogswarm

    ReplyDelete
  2. [...] from Success With Todd posted a great article, The Power of Rewarding Yourself. This blog features many subjects and is loosely focused on personal development and marketing - [...]

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Bobby!

    Isn't it amazing that one of the hardest things to do is love and appreciate ourselves? I'm glad to hear that you've able to let go of the negativity ... from what I can tell since I've known you, you have plenty to be thankful for.

    Keep havin FuN!
    Todd

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow. Just wow. Awesome insight. Spending way too much time beating ourselves up is indeed one of the biggest causes for failure. Our super-ego can really hold us back, if we let it. Great post, Todd.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Luke,

    Thanks :-)

    Todd

    ReplyDelete
  6. My divorce taught me many of these same techniques! I no longer beat myself up for my negative things and treat myself often for my positives.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi NZN, I can relate. I haven't been divorced, but I did break up with a girl I was engaged to a couple years ago. On the positive side, I am engaged again to a wonderful girl who complements me very well. I'm way too thankful for the good things in life to be depressed about the bad.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Luke ... congrats on your engagement !

    It's really interesting to me to read these last two comments. I too started down the road of personal development as I was learning to cope with the disintegration of my 9 year long first marriage.

    I'm remarried now, to a wonderful woman. But, in a way, I'm glad that I had that challenging time in my life. I honestly don't think I would be the person I am today had I not been through that experience.

    Todd

    ReplyDelete
  9. If we want something to change, we need to be clear about what we want. Then we need to make it happen. Clarify who you are and what you want. Feel confident and passionate about your emerging life direction as you clearly identify what matters most to you.

    ReplyDelete